What trackless land is this, full of nothing, devoid of life, of hope?
Devoid of purpose?
There is nothing as far as the eye can see, for I am not even given eyes to see with - even an endless desert would be better than this limbo! For there, though one has neither hope nor life, they do stumble onward; even that minuscule action would be a blessing to one trapped such as I.
In my travels, I have seen many confront Death, and this place is neither better than he, nor cheating, ignoring, embracing, or living parallel to Death.
No, this place is worse than it.

To test new technology, go straight to the source: the people who’ll use the damn things.

Normally, this means whipping newfangled stuff on the military. Not surprisingly, less rules and regulations are required when testing doo-dads in that environment (and I mean ‘stuff,’ not ‘drugs’ - if we see new shoes in the future, they’ll have been on the feet of GI’s first).

But when it’s really speciallized equipment, what could be better than asking a group of diehard individuals who like to act hardcore, have lots of free time, and don’t make us have to deal with military red tape? Surely nothing could go wrong (besides mild ‘this device could work better’ beta testing, of course).

Well, since we’ve all ready bad literature, it’s not surprising that uttering ‘Surely nothing could go wrong’ will immediately be followed by something going wrong, and I confess you’re not alltogether un-correct in that assumption.

But I must say, I’m quite glad we put a ‘you might die’ clause in the forms all those truckers signed.

Name: Tissa Taunon

Age: 19

Hair Color: Red

Background:

     Oh god, get me out of here! They’re making me [edited] Hello. I am Tissa. I like to play with friends. Tee. Hee. I like playing sports. My short skirts are so comfy. Tee. Hee. Enjoy.

A Man. A Plan. A Canal. Steve.

The problem with wishes, of course, is that noone believes in them except kids. And sadly, if there’s one group of people guaranteed to misunderstand the consequences of their actions, it’s kids. So when some fairy feebleminded or cruel enough to grant the wish of some ‘lucky’ kid did so, the wish was something along the lines of “I wish everything could talk!”

What most people forget is that the simpler the wish, the more leeway the giver has in granting it. “Everything can talk,” for example, turns quite neatly into “everything is sentient.”

Naturally, problems arise when everything that is starts thinking for itself, even beyond the ordinary chaos stemming from things like underwear and vibrators starting to talk. Last I heard, abstract concepts started getting into the swing of things - I think “time” just started bitching about being bored all the, well, all the time.

Which is why I’m currentally piloting my lovely craft through what used to be the Panama canal. Of course, what used to be a quiet and relaxing trip is now broken by nothing shutting up ever (I’m talking to you, rigging!), and on top of that the canal chose a new name for itself, killing one of the best palindromes around.

God, I hate kids.

Name: Yuki Stevens

Age: 17

Hair Color: Black

Background:

     Tee Hee! I’m just a bubbly school girl at ***** High, having fun while I can between my studies.  I try to focus on my studies, but I just keep getting distracted by all those handsome business men walking past the school!  I enjoy tennis, but I just can’t get into swimming - it just makes me want to throw a toaster in the pool!  See who’s laughing then, when they’re all….I also like ice cream and going to the park!  Seeing all the pretty people out there, happy couples having fun, I just love seeing people in, well, love!  Of course, the last guy I brought home ended up screaming “do it to Julia!” - oh well, some people just can’t handle me :/  Ah well, it’s a beautiful day out, time to go make some new friends!